What's going on with me
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: how do you talk to an angel by the hights
Today, Was totally awesome because i spent more time with my dad helping him fix the jeep today and that was great if you ask me and everything. I totally got dirty and i loved it never once did i think that i would be helping my dad and everything and it was finally what i wanted. I just like hanging out with my dad and now that he going up north this weekend i am going to be alone and spending my time with my mom and that going to be very good i guess. I'm just going to do my hair and make up again and do more pictures and hope they come out again. I just think that things are going to be alright because i have faith and it's not going to lose it. I'm just worried about all the things that happen this year and it's crazy because i have never felt like i have lost things but right now i am happy to say and i am happy and that all that matters.

Tomorrow, I might go out for a walk and get back to losing weight again because that going to really help my back and everything and i need to and i just don't want to hurt myself. Because i want to get heath again and i am just going to do whatever it takes to get me back to losing weight and then i guess i could he more happier if you know what i mean. I just want to look good for the summer and everything and get my stuff going because i am just tired of not doing anything and it's crazy but it's true and i need to get my shit straight and everything. I just wanted to write this all down before i forget and everything. I just really think that i would totally feel better about myself and hopefully the guys would see that.

Well, Right now I'm just watching tv in my room because i really don't know what else to do because that how fucking bored i am and it's not right i know it's fucking stupid. I just wish that it would be totally nice outside that i could get out and do things and not have to fucking make me wonder what is really going on in my life and everything. I just feel like i need to go way from awhile and get my thoughts together because i hate the way i feel and it's hard to make things go right if you know what i am talking about. I just need the support and i am not looking for anything but i am searching for the things that are going on in my past and now. I know that things are crazy and it's not like i tried to find what i am looking for because it's not there and i've ask god to help me doing soul searching and he agreed to help me in his way.

I've been currently thinking about my relationship and it's not enough because last night he never fucking called me and i stay up way to late and i am fucking pissed about it because if you love someone you should call them when you fucking say you are and everything. And he wants to get married to me and have kids with me and i am not going to have this in my life. I put up with the drama and the girls that he was seeing behind my back and i am tried of the games and lies because i am sure you know what i mean and everything. And he took advantage of me and never knew that he was doing that and it's not right if you ask me. I have lost so much in my life and he never fucking seems to know what i am feeling as i am feeling it. So what does a girl do will i guess i am going to have to face what i am scared off and i just can't lose it again. I just need that space to think and he don't understand how i feel and uses it and though it back at me and not fucking cool and i am hateing it so much and everything.

Why do guys think it's alright to break there girlfriends hearts and souls and everything. So they fucking think that it's funny or something like that well i am not laughing at all. I went through this with my ex boyfriend James and it's not going to go that away again. I'm tried of playing the drama games and all the fucking shit it's not right and i've had enough of it. I just want to move on with my life and not have to worry about all the crazy shit that me. I just don't want my friends to think that i am crazy because i have lost it at times and i am never sure enough on what i am feeling because my emotions change a lot. well i am actually thinking it's fucking bull shit and i am not going there again i have totally don't want the drama anymore.

Well Everybody, I'm going to end this here for tonight, I'm going to keep you all updated on how things are going with me, So pace out everyone, Bye for now.