What's going on with me
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: roll on by kid rock
wow, I am just hanging out in the office on my dad computer because i am bored out of my mind and i just don't know what to do with my self anymore if you ask me i am crazy bitch right now. I am just thinking about the things that are going on in my life now things are never the right thing but i guess i have to move on with my life and not worried about all the crazy things that are going on. I just wish that i knew what to do most of the time i really just wish that things would never be so hard on me. So right now i am just hoping that things get better for me then i would not have to care so much about what other people say about me because i know who i am and everything and that should matter. I just want things to be alright and not have to be scared all the time if you ask me.

Well, Things are going to be alright i have to have faith in myself and just know that my friends are a big part of my faith in god and everything and i am telling you what i am just a happy go lucky kind of girl i guess but i have my reason for my angry and stuff like that  and everything. I have things on my mind that i should not be thinking about because of all the trouble i have been having i just don't know what to do with my life and it's crazy to think that i am going to move on with my life and everything. So i have so much thinking to do and it's crazy to think that i thought that everything would be alright.

Actually, I have so much more to give and not so much going on if you ask me. I just thought that i had everything all fingured out and everything and i am not going to go through this pain again not in my life time if you ask me i am down with pain and the emotions that come with it. so i am hoping that things are going to be alright in my life time because that how i see things in my life. I just feel like things are never going to be where i want them to be because off all the crazy facts that i find out and i am never ready for anything that goes on if you know what i am talking about. So how am i going to move on when i don't really know what is going on in my life and it's kind of weired if you ask me. I have lost my own way in life and i need to follow god and his way to live in life because i feel that in me.

 I totally hate being annoyed about things and it's making me do things that i never thought i would do about things and it's not like me to be acting like this if you know what i mean. So i just feel so betrayed about a lot of things and i never know what life is going to bring me or break me because that is how i fucking think about things and i never understand my life and how fuck up it is and i can't live this lie anymore because then i would be doing things that i could not handle anymore. I just feel like things are never going to be alright even if i am not thinking about it anymore.

Well Everyone, I'm going to end this here for tonight, I'll keep you all updated on how things are going with me and my life, So pace out everyone, Bye for now

In Love With You
Mood:  flirty
Now Playing: The last night by skillet
I never really knew you,
You were just a other friend,
But when i got to know you,
I let mixed feelings mend

I couldn't help past memories,
That would only make me cry,
I have to forget my first love,
And give love another try,

So I've fallen in love with you,
And I'll never let you go,
I love you more then anyone,
I just had to let you know,

And if you ever wonder why,
I don't know why I'll say,
But I'll never stop loving you,
Each and everyday

My love for you will never change,
Please know my feelings are true,
Just remember one thing,
I'm in love with you

What Words Alone Can't Say
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Faithfully by journey

More often than not

Words can't describe 

My feelings for you 

Which live deep inside 

 

Feelings  that grow stronger 

With every beat of my heart 

I knew you were the one for me 

Right from the very start 

 

There isn't a moment 

In the day i can find 

Where you face and smile 

Don't appear in my mind 

 

I long to be with you 

And hold you so tight 

To protect you and love you 

Every day and each night 

 

We share something so special 

Each and every day 

A feeling in our souls 

Words alone can't say 

Feelings
Mood:  chatty
Now Playing: mirror mirrow by m2m

I didn't know i could love

Anyone as much as i love you 

For the sound of you're voice,

Makes all my dreams come true 

 

You walk into a room, and 

I know you have arrived 

My heart skips a beat when 

You walk up to my side 

 

I hope this kind of magic stays 

Forever between us two,

And the whole wide world will 

Know that god sent me you 

What's going on with me
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: something in you're mouth by nickelback
Wow, I have stay up way to late and i am not even tired right now. I'm trying to finish my dolphin rug that i  have been doing with my own hands. I just wish that i knew what is going on with my best friend and everything. I'm just really worried about her and she like my very own sister if you ask me. I just wish that she was not to depressed and everything because i totally miss her like crazy. I just hope that she knows that i am always going to be there for her because i love her to death.

Basically, She is so wonderful and i am glad to call  Amanda Dewitt as my best friend because she has help me deal with a lot of my problems and i like that. I just want to be there for her as well but she needs to come to me and talk to me and then i can see if i can help out in anyway and everything. I just want to show my love for my best friend and that something amazing if you ask me. I just want things to work out for her in her life and that not something it's going to be rough at times but i know that she has it in her to move on with her life.

Right now, I'm thinking about going to bed now because now i am going to get tired and i have to be up early because i have class this morning. Then i am off to the gym to work out for a few hours and just not think about all the fucking shit that is going on because i really don't fucking think i can handle it anymore. So i am just hoping for the best for Amanda because she is the one that needs it and i am not going to give up on her never would i ever do that.

I'm not against anyone right now but myself and the problems that i face in life because i am totally lost and i just don't know how this fucking happen. I just feel like my boyfriend don't fucking care about my feelings and i just wish that would be the case but i guess it's  my fault in life but anyway. I'm just scared on things and i just wish that things would not be so bad for me as i am talking. So right now i am just thinking out loud and hoping that things are going to change for me and i just want someone to love me for me and not judge me and i feel  that my boyfriend is doing that right now and it kills me inside trust me.

Well Everybody, I'm going to end this here, I'll keep you all updated on how things are going with me and my life, So pace out everyone, Bye for now

What's going on with me
Mood:  crushed out
Now Playing: Bad Girlfriend by theory of a deadman
Wow, Today was the day that i just did not feel like i wanted to get out of bed this morning. I just don't know what is going on there but i am just who i am i guess i am not sure. So things are going to be alright i have faith in my own self if you ask me about things happen in my life then i could tell them that it still fuck up if you know what i mean and everything. I am sure you all know what i am talking about when it comes to life and stuff like that if you know what i mean. I just don't know what i am thinking most of the time but right now i am hoping for the best in my life and everything.

Actually, Right now i am just hanging out in my room being bored tonight as useful. I just don't know what i should do about the things that are going on and everything. Right now i am just thinking about what i need to think about and not worried about all the crazy things that happen in my life time and  i just don't want to lose what i have in my life and everything. I just don't think about what i really want in life because i am so worried about all the crazy things and i am never going to understand anything that is going on i guess i am lost for my own words in life and everything.

What is really annoying me right now is my confusion and how much i hate it and everything. I just want to spend the rest of my life not worrying about things and it's crazy because i actually thought that i had everything all figured out and everything but i guess i really don't. I feel like i am losing everything around me and its not something i really want to feel right now. I just hate that i have to do some confessions in my life and everything. I just feel like i have lost who i once was and now that i am finally trying to so hard and i am crazy to think about all the shit that happen in my life but right now it's kind of like i am scared to move on in life and everything.

I'm so worried about my best friend Amanda Dewitt and i just wish her the best and i am going to stand by her through everything that is going on in her life and everything. I'm going to pray for her because that is what she really needs in her life and everything. I don't like that she is sad and depressed and that just not right and everything if you know what i mean. I feel like me and her are connected at the heart because we think alike and we act like real sisters and everything. I would be totally lost without her because she has help me think about a lot of things.

Well Everybody, I'm going to end this here, I'll keep you all updated on how things are going with me and my life, So pace out everyone, Bye for now.

Touch Me
Mood:  flirty
Now Playing: i'll never break you'r e heart by backstreet boys

Baby please just touch me

From my head down to my toes 

Baby touch me everywhere 

Take you're time real slow 

 

Oh i love you're fingerstips 

Leaving a tail of fire 

Baby please just touch me 

You are my one desire 

 

Trace a path down to my breast 

How they ache and swell 

How my bodies burning up 

Whenever you're fingers dwell 

 

Now you're hand moves lower 

My legs i willingly spread 

Just feel you're fingers there 

Followed by you're head

 

Baby please touch me 

See how weak i am 

And all because of touches 

From my lovers hand 

Alone Forever
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: enter the sandman by metallica
My feelings make me alone
Alone forever

My friends don't know my feelings
My family don't know my feelings
I am alone
I can be in a crowed yet alone
I walk alone
I talk alone
I live alone

My feelings are what seprate me
My feelings make me alone

I wish to be whole
I try to bring myself together
I become strong in the process but i'll still be
Alone forever

My Lonliness
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: down with the sickness by disurbed
Alone i sleep
And alone i wake
Alone i dream
And alone i ache

Alone i live
And alone i cry
Alone i think
And alone I'll die

Alone i try
And alone i fall
Alone i fail
And alone i sit

Alone i was
Alone i am
And alone I'll always be

Cries
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: quit playing games with my heart by backstreet boys

Every night someone cries

Every night someone dies 

Every night someone says their goodbyes 

 

People  cry all their tears 

Try to forget all their worst fear

Hoping that he will answer their prayers 

 

Children are always alone 

All night parents are on the phone 

Cause their children  are running away from home 

 

Blood runs down someone's face 

The world is a crazy place 

People are disappearing with out a trace 

 

This society is corrupted 

The government  has erupted 

Leaving pain uninerrupted 

 

Hate is the fuel in everyone's soul 

Everyone tries to reach their goal 

But they just keep falling deeperin the hole 

 

No matter how hard you try 

People are always going to die 

And children are always going to cry